“Guilt is not rational. Guilt is a weight that
will crush you whether you deserve it or not.”
– Maureen Johnson
Are you a veteran or do you know one? I decided to dedicate this brief movie review to a dear friend. She is a veteran. She has mentioned several times she wants to find a way to be more active with veterans and I have watched her as she helps when / as she can. There is a not-so-clear-and-present danger in our veterans’ arena where the concern of civilians may pass by their dilemmas and then turn to carry on as normal. People more closely connected with veterans allow time and thoughts to linger on quiet dangers for those returning home. Empathy can be powerful. Nothing compares to those who fully understand what entering service means after years-long, grueling regiments have molded them to a fundamental core. We should listen to who can impart experience. Or watch films written by veterans. My Dead Friend Zoe is one of these “undramatized” films sharing what is real, and, what needs attention.
I do not know the percentage of those who enlist in the military who never encounter conflict, combat, or any dangers. I do know it must be above a 90-percent range who join right out of high school. And to guess here a handful of reasons: to stand for America, to experience life, to see the world, maybe to escape it. Maybe they have nothing else. Maybe to see if they have what it takes. In many countries, it is REQUIRED for boys to enter the military a minimum of two years. And for many of those countries, it is also required of women. It seems reasonable, granted certain religions will not allow. However, it may be a rite of passage into adulthood by teaching thick skin and sticktoitativeness.
This is a film review I promise, but not in the normal sense. If I am writing about a movie in any capacity, that means, in my little opinion of the world, it is a movie to see. It will touch you. I wanted to dedicate a personal voice to a personal film, even if the subject matter is somewhat foreign to me. Also, it’s important to entice engagement in lieu of sounding critical praising etc. However, you might enjoy something I don’t normally share. Here is the director’s statement emailed to press a month ago.
DIRECTOR STATEMENT
The subject matter addressed in the film (loss, grief, survivor’s guilt, veteran experience) are intimately personal to me (the filmmaker) in that this is an autobiographical story. I am a US Army combat veteran of Iraq, lost battle buddies (over there and back home), have a complicated relationship with my Vietnam veteran grandfather; also my service in general. This film is the catharsis and result of over a decade of internal debate and self-acceptance around these issues. It’s also an Impact Film; three of the most prominent national nonprofits have partnered with the film, their logos and a ‘how to make a direct impact’ call-to-action appears first up in the end credits.
My Dead Friend Zoe’s nuances must be doted on. Director Kyle Hausmann-Stokes delivers more than a two-hour time to witness, he delivers opportunity. A veteran himself, Kyle served in the US Army and followed up by co-founding the nonprofit organization Veterans in Media & Entertainment. My Dead Friend Zoe, his first film, is an emotional success. Directors may use several technical tools to achieve pulls on emotions. This new director uses new style. To do this you’ll notice shifts in lighting, uncomfortable noise in places you least expect it, dramatic irony that doesn’t pan out, thinking you know something when in fact when you don’t. Sounds like PTSD, the sorts of things PTSD is made of. And yet, this film isn’t a typical PTSD situation. Without overuse of the word, the reality for veterans is much more than even that. Institutionalization can happen through more experiences than stereo-typical prison or capture.
To repeat myself, we have a NOT-SO-CLEAR-and-present danger alert in our country now, and it is expressed with a cry in My Dead Friend Zoe. It is an Afghanistan-served stint veteran film hitting theaters this week. It won a sweep across American film fests. My Dead Friend Zoe snuck up on me, and I mean that in the best non-sarcastic way. I don’t know many veterans on a personal level, but a few months ago I commented on Veteran’s Day, “We don’t do enough for veterans. We just don’t.” It came from seeing statistics of veterans and their source of “stolen care.” Then, only yesterday, a dear friend texted my friend group about a platoon mate of hers who had posted cryptic messages, apparently in distress. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be heard by the universe. Maybe we are all deep down feeling this ghost-like terror, at least the ones of us who realize neglect is part of the return home welcome for these soldiers trying to do better for their country, their family, and simply for themselves.
